Former England skipper Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and admitted he cannot yet deal with the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that claimed the lives of fellow rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old athlete, who was part of the World Cup champion 2003 side and won multiple English and European titles with Leicester, spoke to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the illness.
"There's an element of looking the future in the face and not wanting to fully comprehend that at the minute," he commented.
"This doesn't mean I am unaware of where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a hesitation to confront the future for now."
Moody, talking together with his wife Annie, states rather he feels "at ease" as he concentrates on his current welfare, his family and getting ready for when the condition worsens.
"Possibly that's trauma or possibly I deal with matters in another way, and after I have the facts, it's easier," he added.
Initial Indications
Moody learned he had MND after observing some weakness in his shoulder while training in the gym.
After physical therapy was ineffective for the condition, a set of scans indicated nerve cells in his brain and spinal cord had been damaged by MND.
"You receive this diagnosis of MND and we're rightly very affected about it, but it's so strange because I sense that everything is fine," he added.
"I don't experience ill. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are rather minimal. I have a small amount of muscle deterioration in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I'm still competent to performing whatever I want. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is attainable."
Disease Development
MND can develop quickly.
Based on the non-profit MND Association, the illness kills a third of people within a 365 days and over half within two years of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Therapy can only delay deterioration.
"It's never me that I am upset for," added an affected Moody.
"There's grief around having to break the news to my mum - as an only child - and the ramifications that has for her."
Personal Impact
Conversing from the household with his wife and their pet dog by his side, Moody was overwhelmed by emotion when he discussed breaking the news to his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year Ethan - the traumatic news, commenting: "This was the toughest thing I've ever had to do."
"They are two brilliant boys and that was rather heartbreaking," Moody remarked.
"We were seated on the settee in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both embraced in each other, then the dog leapt across and commenced cleaning the tears off our faces, which was quite silly."
Moody stated the focus was being in the present.
"There exists no cure and that is why you have to be so intensely concentrated on just accepting and savoring each moment now," he stated.
"According to Annie, we've been truly fortunate that the primary choice I made when I left playing was to allocate as much period with the kids as possible. We don't get those periods back."
Player Connection
Top-level competitors are excessively impacted by MND, with investigations proposing the prevalence of the illness is up to 600% elevated than in the wider community.
It is considered that by reducing the oxygen accessible and creating damage to motor neurone cells, regular, strenuous physical activity can initiate the condition in those previously predisposed.
Rugby Professional Life
Moody, who won 71 England caps and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was dubbed 'Mad Dog' during his sports career, in honour of his fearless, persistent style to the game.
He competed through a bone injury of his leg for a period with Leicester and once caused a workout altercation with fellow player and friend Martin Johnson when, frustrated, he discarded a tackle pad and started engaging in physical contacts.
After entering as a substitute in the Rugby World Cup decisive match win over Australia in 2003, he secured a ball at the rear of the throw-in in the crucial moment of play, setting a foundation for playmaker Matt Dawson to advance and Jonny Wilkinson to execute the match-winning drop kick.
Backing Community
Moody has already notified Johnson, who captained England to that title, and a handful of other ex- team-mates about his condition, but the others will be discovering his news with the broader public.
"We'll have a period when we'll need to depend on their assistance but, at the minute, just having that type of affection and recognition that people are present is what's important," he stated.
"Rugby is such a wonderful group.
"I said to the kids the other day, I've had an extraordinary life.
"Even should it ended now, I've valued all of it and accepted all of it and got to do it with exceptional people.
"When you get to consider your love your vocation, it's one of the most important blessings.
"Achieving this for so extended a period with the squads that I did it with was a joy. And I understand they will wish to help in any way they can and I look forward to having those talks."
